It's a crystalline world out there- the weather has been in the teens and twenties. We expect more snow this evening, perhaps enough that our office will be closed tomorrow and I'll get to stay home and work on more on letting go of things that do not make me feel alive. I've got plenty of things to sort through, that's for sure, both in my head and in my environment.
With the deepening Winter weather, Patience has certainly made it's presence known. From taking careful steps on the icy walkway to the post office on my lunch to the slow commute home from work, I've been constantly reminded to take a deep breath and be present in the moment. As the stress of the holidays makes those around me raw, I have to consciously choose to disengage from their frantic and anxious energy. Of course I could always throw in the towel, and allow the frazzled energy around me to force (or seduce) me onto a similar path. It's always easier to react to the person yelling at me on the phone about something I have no control over and didn't want to be involved with in the first place. It's more difficult to keep an even keel when the waters around me are turbulent. And yet, for the most part, I'm managing to do so. Remembering to apply an ample dose of gentle humor seems to do the trick and if that doesn't work, I pull out the big guns: I Fake It Until I Make It. Of course I don't always keep the edge off my tongue but we all have our human moments/hours/days/years. It all comes down to saying what I mean and doing what I say. And I guess I'm learning to be patient with myself as well. Imagine that. It only took 40 years to be at peace (and poke fun at) my imperfection. *snort*
One of the things that keeps coming back to me is from the last day of an ancestral medicine retreat I attended in June and again in early December. It's an exercise in forgiveness that I think I may find useful in the coming weeks and years. It's credited to Maryphyllis Horn and I place it here in the hopes that it will help others as well as help me remember to be patient with myself and others.
"I ______ forgive you________ for all the harms, both real and imagined, known and unknown, intentional and unintentional, that you have done to me from the beginning of time to the present. And I release you from all of these."
"I accept your forgiveness of me, for all the harms, both real and imagined, known and unknown, intentional and unintentional, that I have done to you from the beginning of time to the present. And I accept your release of me from all of these."
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