Sunday, February 22, 2009

Everyday Medicine: Moving Through Changes

I hate sitting in discomfort. And I'm not talking about a hard dining room chair either. I'm talking about the discomfort that comes from doing that which I'm afraid to do. It's the discomfort from learning through being inadequate. It's the discomfort when I listen to my heart and allow myself to be in service to others even when I'm not sure I'm ready. It's knowing that change is the only real constant in this life. It's knowing that the changes I choose to allow into my life will impact the way I function within the world. And it's knowing that no matter what I think now, the end result of those changes will be for the best outcome.

Marianne Williamson has a quote: Your playing small does not serve the world. I feel I've been living that quote since before my fortieth birthday. Maybe it's time for me to shift it into gear, take a deep breath and see where the road takes me...

Friday, February 20, 2009

Today's Medicine: Magickal Moments

There is something quite gratifying about using uber clippers of doom to cut off dead hydrangea flowers. Nothing symbolic there at all, no. *whack whack* Clearing out the dead wood, making room to grow and all that.

As I drove north to take Creamsicle to the vet today, I looked over at the water processing plant in North Everett. The water was so still that the mountains were almost perfectly mirrored within it. And it made me think about finding beauty in the the most icky parts of my life. The Universe has a weird sense of timing sometimes.

I live at a busy cross road. Our home is right on the south-west corner. Today I was puttering around in my office when I heard tires screeching and the resounding whack/crunch of two vehicles hitting one another. Everyone was fine though their cars were not and it was sorted out in a little over an hour. I checked in on them, called the cops and then continued with my yard work. I stopped to wonder how many soul bits have gone astray during accidents on that street corner, which prompted me to call in the guides and guardians of those people to help in the best way/for best out come during this time. I also felt called to invite those missing soul bits to find refuge in the land that I live with if need be, also keeping "for the highest good off all" firmly in mind. I feel a sense of some cross road work coming my way, which will be "interesting" in what I hope is not the Chinese way.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Today's Medicine: Gratitude

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie

Thankful Thursday thoughts:

Being poked in less than painful and very productive ways
Rediscovering the power of vulnerability and tenderness
Ridiculously loud laughter- in abundance
Kindred spirits
Helping other people find their way and embracing that it's part of what I do in a non-ego maniacal way (I hope)
Coming home to kitties and loved ones
Feeling rejuvenated enough to tackle things that have needed doing for a while
New tools for my life tool kit
Delicious shivers

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Today's Medicine: Respond not React

I'll be heading out tomorrow for a weekend in San Jose. I'll be attending Pantheacon, a convention that celebrates all sorts of alternative spiritualities. Every year I shed light into the undiscovered country within myself, so I"m really looking forward to it. Plus I'll be spend some time with some dear ones, which is always nice. I'm also looking forward to finding myself along the way in moments of solitude.

My job is giving me ample opportunities to Respond rather than React. It's always fun to discover that I have that choice. My more enlightened self likes to think I do more Responding than Reacting but I know better. I think this will be an ongoing lesson, at least until I've integrated it more firmly within and without. What I need to remember is that I have many beautiful and terrible uncontrollable beings in my daily existence and it doesn't do much for me to think I can change their behaviors. In the end all I can do is change me. And that's a huge enough job for any one person!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Today's Medicine: Longing

-David Whyte

She wrote me a letter after her death,
and I remember a kind of happy light
as I sat by the rose tree
on her old bench by the back door
so surprised to receive it
wondering what she would say
looking up before I could open it
and laughing to myself in silent expectation.

Dear son
it is time for me to leave you
the words you are used to hearing,
are no longer mine to give.
You can only hear those words of motherly
affection now from your own mouth
and only for those who stand
motherless before you.
As for me I must forsake adulthood
and be bound gladly to a new childhood.
You must understand
this apprenticeship demands
of me an elemental innocence
from everything I have ever held in my hands.

I know your generous soul
is well able to let me go
You will in the end be happy to know
my God was true
and that after so many years
of loving you so long
I find myself in the wide, infinite mercy of being
mothered myself.
P.S. All of your intuitions were true.