Today's Medicine: Change

And the day came

when the risk to remain tight in a bud

was more painful

than the risk it took to blossom.

- Anais Nin

South - Fire - Choosing our Focus

I was thinking today about the power of resistance and avoidance and how both are completely tied in with where I focus my time, energy, emotional and spiritual resources. I tend to be a bit on the stubborn side, and although some of the more kinder folk might say I'm persistent or determined, the truth is pretty clear. My stubbornness is a tool I've used to keep myself from being influenced or manipulated by others and it's served me well enough over the years. HOWEVER, I have to take a closer look now and make a choice of whether or not this stubbornness truly serves me. If I take a hard look at the situations I get stubborn about, I often see that it is directly related my resistance of some action that needs to be taken. It is also often linked to my desire to avoid a situation or task that needs doing. Neither of these behavior patterns are the healthiest and realistically I'm the only one who can change them.

I guess I'd best break out my tool box and see what might be helpful:

Re-framing. How can I shift my perception around so that I can see a different perspective on the situation? What needs to happen so that I can loosen my grip on stubborn self-righteousness so that I can shift the energy toward something more fruitful? I am reminded that in order to re-frame things, I need to drop the ego down a couple notches. It's difficult to re-frame my view of the world if I'm focused on being right, being in control or being insistent that there is no other way to see things.

Create Compassion. I need to be able to soften the hard edges so that I can be kind to myself and others. It doesn't do me any good to beat myself (or anyone else) up for not being "enough." I need the reminder that everyone is a spiritual being having a human experience. There isn't much that's going to change that reality during this turn of the Wheel, so why struggle with it all the time? I'm going to make mistakes and I'm going to learn from them. Sometimes I have to make the same mistake more than once in order to really figure something out. It doesn't make me stupid, it just takes a while for the lesson to absorb into my psyche. I know that once I get it, I GET it and that's what matters.

Choice. I have free will, I have the ability to choose my way in the world. I also need the reminder that choice is very seldom good or bad, right or wrong, one thing versus something else. Black and white are not the colors of my life: I live in the misty gray areas along the fringes of things, so why insist that it's otherwise? I can choose to be negative, to be apathetic, to be world-weary and cynical. I can choose activities that support those beliefs. Or I can make different choices, ones that help me expand into the world rather than retract from it. I can choose to go to sleep at a time that allows my body the right amount of rest and dreamings, or eat foods that make me feel more alive rather than sluggish. I need to remember that choices lead to changes and that change is life's only constant. The more fluid and resilient I can be, the better I'll be able to manage the unpredictable nature of daily living.

I think I will focus this week on the proper care and feeding of my body and soul. I will do those things which make me happy, as well think on and sort out some of the things that make me feel prickly and small. Not the easiest task in the world and not the hardest either. It will be interesting to see how things stand when I turn to the West next week...