Today's Medicine: Stillness

Tonight is Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year and for the first time ever I feel the turning of the light within my skin, my bones. This is a new sensation for me and one that makes me pause in wonder. It also brings a desire to dance and laugh aloud. I can't explain why this year it feels different, yet there it is. It does. No need to fuss about the why of it, really. I'm just glad I feel that way.

I have also come to realize that the turning of the light truly feels to me like the New Year. I've tried to do New Year practices with Samhain in October or keep to the regular New Year celebrations on January 1st. I think that as I've become more aligned with the turning of the seasons, it makes more sense for me to place New Year here for me. It feels right. Will I feel the same next year? I hope so. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

My prayers for the longest night? May I allow myself to be still and listen this Winter. May I find a way toward healing those parts of myself that are stubbornly holding onto my old ways of being, ways that may no longer serve me. May I honor the journey instead of checking items off my to-do list. May I continue to open to the light that is all around me each day instead of dwelling on the shadows. May I continue to bring balance and kindness into my life and into the lives of those around me. And may there be much heart-filling loving, laughter and joy in the coming quiet months.

Although I did consider staying up to meet the dawn tomorrow, it won't happen. I wasn't sensible enough to plan ahead this year and ask for the day after Solstice off work, though I believe I will do so next year for sure. For now, I will be content with a cuppa tea, a burning fire in the woodstove, a fresh baked cookie chocolate chip and oatmeal cookie and stillness.

Today's Medicine: Surrender

So I'm reading through a book called Shamanic Breathwork: Journeying Beyond the Limits of the Self by Linda Star Wolf. A couple friends and I are doing the section Thirty Shamanic Questions for Humanity, one for each day of March. Today I had to write a prayer of surrender, written to connect with the Divine. It was harder than I expected (gotta love it when expectation comes into play.) I think my blessed English ancestry, with it's stiff upper lip, comes into play. "Never give up, never surrender! Endure and you will be victorious!" Now I know better but it's interesting to see how much I resisted when I read that one little word: surrender. So I took a deep breath and started typing. This is what came out:

Divine One, Light of the World, King and Queen of All That Is, I yield to your Wisdom. I release my control over those things I have no control over: other people’s actions, thoughts and feelings, the suffering of all beings on the planet. I accept that I have only control over myself, my responses and reactions, my choices, thoughts, feelings, actions and how much I allow my ego to be in charge. With great gratitude I ask for your help in trusting that what comes each day is guided by your Wisdom and Love. Open my heart and make it Holy.

Funny what comes through when you disconnect that little thing called the ego...