I've been reading Frank MacEowen's "The Celtic Way of Seeing: Meditations on the Irish Spirit Wheel" and reflecting on the connection between Sovereignty and Service. The concept that leadership is directly linked to how you serve those around you evokes a resounding 'Yes!" within my heart and mind. It's the difference between what some call the big "I" and the little "i." Because if you are truly serving others, there is no place for ego. And if you are a true leader, you have confidence but not overbearing pride in your abilities. I don't know if I'm saying that quite right, but as much of my life, these musings are a work in progress.
I have a reminder on my fridge that says: Service Is Not About Comfort. I heard the quote at one of the workshops held by Orion Foxwood at Pantheacon a couple years ago. It's true too. I always know when Service is coming up in my life. My ego starts wrestling with my observer self and it's often a toss up when it comes to the winner. Thank goodness my observer self usually prevails. Usually. I feel so blessed when Service comes easily and so small when I'm resisting. And boy can I resist it! It's funny, I can usually feel it in my body when I'm my heart, mind and action are in conflict with one another. There is a tightness in my chest and throat and I feel anxious and unsettled. Once I surrender to the path of the heart, allow the action support the feeling that I know to be true, my brain usually capitulates and it all goes well. And yet I still have those moments of resistance. And I wonder when I will allow that medicine to firmly take hold within so that I may bring it more fully into the world...
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